TLV IC Inbox!

[charlastan]

"Hi! You've reached Stan Pines' computer phone box thing or whatever. Leave me a message and maybe if I care enough about what you've got to say I'll actually get back to you. I probably don't, but hey! Test your luck! (Followed by obnoxious laughter until the BEEP)"

Text / Audio / Video / Etc

Comments

what's a videophone for? why don't old men talk to each other face to face these days? post kids

[mothmansplaining]

[He's found Stanley's door, over the course of the last week -- while looking for him, while trying to catch him when he wasn't a kid. Once Ford hears the Admiral announce that the flood's over, Ford immediately takes off -- he heads for the door he recognizes from their ship, years ago now, and he takes a moment to pull himself together outside.

It's the Stanowar, which means -- it must mean -- it's a Stan from the end.

He knocks -- firmly, but urgently.]

Stanley? Stanley, are you in there?

Back in the day we had to walk 15 miles through the snow with no shoes on to have a meaningful talk!

[charlastan]

[Stan's luck has been just as bad. He turned back into an adult once or twice during the flood, but it never seemed to be when Ford was one. They kept just barely missing each other, when their child selves weren't running off together with their many, many, many clones.

But now he's pretty sure he's himself full time again, especially since that Admiral guy said the flood's over. He doesn't even have time to think about investigating what seeing his dead brother in the flood is supposed to mean when he hears a knock at the door.

And hears Ford, calling for him.

Stan flings open the door - old again, and dressed exactly as he was when he and Ford were sailing together, his suit and fez swapped for a long jacket and beanie.]

Stanford?

[He's stunned for a second, but then his joy and relief completely overtakes him. He reaches out and hugs Ford tight.]

Ford! Ford, you're actually here! And-- holy shit, you're alive!

[Stan's not tearing up. There's space dust in his eye or something. Definitely.]

[mothmansplaining]

[He's actually here.

Stan is here, out of Gravity Falls -- real.

Ford has so much to tell him. There's so much Stan has missed. But all of that has to wait a moment while Ford hugs the hell out of his brother. This is the most sincere sibling hug in the history of sincere sibling hugs.]

Yes, I'm alive. Coming back wasn't easy! But, according to most definitions, I'm back.

[He squeezes Stan, then breaks the hug, gripping Stan's shoulder, searching his face with concern.]

What about you?

[Stan's here as an.....

....well, Ford doesn't actually know. On the one hand, Stan Pines is a hero, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. But also, Stan's shady by a lot of definitions. He could see the Authority pulling him in because of that. Being a warden or an inmate isn't about being good or being bad, it's about the kind of story the Authority wants to see. And Ford met a Stan in the Bargeyard who'd died by squid, and was an inmate, and Stan wouldn't be drawn in by the Admiral's huckster act.

It has to be as an inmate. Ford's brows draw up. Oh, no. Oh, no, he could lose Stan at any minute, and Stan won't be able to leave on the Stanowar III with him.]

Did the kraken get you, too?

[audio]

[beejfu]

[from the depths of froggy hell comes this raspy voice, who sounds alternative versions of pissed and worried. Betelgeuse doesn't exactly have good reading comprehension on the best of days and doesn't even spell the name right when he punches the name Stanford in his communicator.

He writes Stanlord. Which autocorrects to Stanley.]

Hey Ford. Far be it from me to create more corpses up here - I know I love them - but what the tapdancing hell is up with Rosie?

Is she like. Okay?

[audio]

[charlastan]

[Funnily enough, it's a gravely voice that replies - less raspy though and more like he's been chain smoking for years.]

Uh. Rosie?

[Who the hell is that? This is like the third time this week!]

Look, you've got the wrong number, pal - Ford's my brother.

Re: [audio]

[beejfu]

Uh, yeah? Big pink inmate, emotional issues, loves her family, no idea why - starting to ring a bell?

Wait.

Wait.

Who the fuck are you and what have you done with the Tin Man?

I plug in his name and I get someone calling himself his brother?

The fuck, Admiral?

We just DID a flood! Bring Tin Man back!

private

[tetractys]

I DON'T LIKE YOU, STANLEY! YOU KNOW THIS!

BUT I DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE FORD ACT LIKE HIMSELF AGAIN. I THINK NO MATTER WHAT I CHANGE OR WHAT I TRY I JUST MAKE HIM WORSE. YOU MAKE HIM HAPPY! IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF GROSS HOW HAPPY YOU GUYS ARE.

[U make people uncomfortable, reel it in a little.]

private

[charlastan]

[He'd have to be blind to not notice that Bill can't stand him, but that just makes this message more confusing. Despite Bill being literally a triangle, Stan can't figure out his his angle. So, he just skips right past the part about himself.]

What, did the getting people to go talk to him thing backfire?

[Surprisingly not accusatory!]

private

[tetractys]

NO IDEA! IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT MUCH.

[therushingsky]

Hey, I have a request.

Like, as your inmate.

[charlastan]

A request, huh. What do you want?

[Not meanly - he's just being careful with his words and not making promises before he knows what the thing is.]

[therushingsky]

Just go to the Admiral and repeat all my requests to him for me?

I don't count cause I'm not a warden, but I still think unpaired inmates not having access to their files is fucked, and I still think we have an institutionalisation problem.

[therushingsky]

Hey, could you let me into Zero?

I keep a bunch of my stuff down there.

[charlastan]

I wanna judge you, but I'm pretty sure that's not even the weirdest thing I've heard here this week. What'd you do, lock your stuff in solitary confinement?

Forward-dated to immediately after the barge is restored to normal - Voice

[beejfu]

Hi, Sexy.

[Says a strangled-sounding BJ, who is going through a lot of emotional hiccups]

I need to ask you a really really big favor.

Voice

[charlastan]

Hey Betelgeuse.

[No hesitation or objection to being called Sexy - he clearly remembers who Betelgeuse is now and he's more than happy to pretend he didn't just do a heel face turn for like two weeks.]

What's up? Also, how much murder or maiming does it involve?

Re: Voice

[beejfu]

Can I come stay with you for a little while?

And can you not tell anyone where I am?

Voicemail

[mothmansplaining]

[All at once:]

I told Betelgeuse where the ice cream was, he seemed like he really needs it, if he eats it all I'll get you more next time we're in a port, that was all, bye.

Voicemail

[charlastan]

He is DEFINITELY going to eat it all! That's why I didn't TELL HIM where it was!

[Stan s i g h s. This is what he gets for being a decent guy.]

Eh, he probably does need it though. Apparently he's going through some things.

[beejfu]

STAN STAN STAN.

COME PLAY CARDS WITH US.

[charlastan]

Cards?! Count me in!

Just before the November VIP flood

[mothmansplaining]

[It's been a week or two, and...Ford feels a little differently.

That's not a grammar error. He feels differently than he used to. Before, there was no cooldown time at all; Ford would nurse injuries done to him for years and years, never letting them heal, picking them open again when he needed to remember how he'd been hurt, when he needed something to drive him to work harder, fight fiercer, run faster.

But he doesn't want to do that this time. Not with Stanley. What Stanley did hurt him, it's true, and what he'd said had stung. But...Ford wants the happily-ever-after more than he wants to be angry. He's able to see things from other people's perspective a little now. He's willing to talk.

He just hopes they don't...you know...get in each other's way. At their worst, they're like two chemicals that are dangerous to combine: put them together long enough and their reactions to one another are explosive. Ford hopes that doesn't happen this time, and he's...he's going to try to see that it doesn't.

He takes a deep breath outside Stanley's door, and knocks.

(He's picked a time when he knows Stanley generally doesn't have a shift, but also, Ford's found that when he knocks on people's cabin doors, they tend to be there. Call it a quirk of the Barge, a higher power arranging circumstances, whatever you like -- it works reliably, so he doesn't call ahead.)]

Re: Just before the November VIP flood

[charlastan]

[It's been a week or two, and Stan's pretty sure he blew it.

It's not that much of a shocker, really. Stan's been ruining things pretty consistently for most of his life. It was only a matter of time before he ruined his happy ending with Ford too.

Since they fought he's been going out of his way to give Ford a pretty wide berth. He's been going out of his way to avoid him, to the point of even changing up some of his own routines. Places they might have normally encountered each other are places where Stan has been strangely absent.

He's been adjusting. Checking in with Rhys more. Coming to grips with the fact that Ford might not want anything to do with him after that whole mess.

But hey, at least Ford's alive, right? He got what he wanted in the end. ...Kind of.

So when he answers the door he's legitimately not expecting Ford to be the one knocking, and it catches him entirely off-guard.]

Oh, uh. Hey, Ford...

[An awkward beat, as he struggles to remember how he and Ford interact with each other. At least Ford doesn't seem extremely pissed off? That might be a good thing?]

...How's it hangin'?

text - UN: IceCream

[threelayers]

[So, after she happened to see this message, Neo kind of couldn't resist stepping in to help an old man out just a little bit. Why? Well, she kind of liked the cut of his jib, and Oz could probably use taking down a peg or twelve.

But the silent laughter had faded after she'd read it and she'd realized something.]

So, uh, I saw you trying to talk to a certain "Anonymous" idiot.
You know, the kind of sweet, lovable idiot that is completely not anonymous and that we all know is her but won't admit it.
The sort of person nobody in their right mind would ever want to try and stab because she's a ball of sugar.

[Through a little shade at herself there.]

Thought I'd clear up a tiny bit of confusion.
"Filing Taxes" is code for sex. Couple people that know her use it so they don't talk about sex around her.
I've TRIED to explain this to her, more than once.
She swears she gets it, and knows what we mean.
But days like today, I really don't believe her.
I think she actually thinks it's filing taxes and just pretends she gets the joke.

Re: text - UN: yeswestan

[charlastan]

[...oh.]

HUH. GUESS THAT DOES MAKE MORE SENSE. SOUNDS LIKE HERE TOO.

GUESS I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE PICKED ON THAT OTHER GUY FOR WANTING TO PAY HIS THOUGH - UNLESS WE'RE JUST LYING TO ALL THE KIDS AROUND HERE ABOUT IT NOW.