TLV IC Inbox!

[charlastan]

"Hi! You've reached Stan Pines' computer phone box thing or whatever. Leave me a message and maybe if I care enough about what you've got to say I'll actually get back to you. I probably don't, but hey! Test your luck! (Followed by obnoxious laughter until the BEEP)"

Text / Audio / Video / Etc

Comments

Voicemail

[charlastan]

He is DEFINITELY going to eat it all! That's why I didn't TELL HIM where it was!

[Stan s i g h s. This is what he gets for being a decent guy.]

Eh, he probably does need it though. Apparently he's going through some things.

Voicemail

[mothmansplaining]

Yes, speaking of that. I seem to have found myself hosting a movie night for him and Rose in the Mystery Shack. Want to come?

Voicemail

[charlastan]

Sure! I'm basically chaperoning him right now anyway!

[Besides, it's not like movie night can get that awkward, right?]

You guys know what you're watching yet or are we figuring that out later?

Voicemail

[mothmansplaining]

[Welcome to the Betelgeuse Wardening Team, Stan. It takes a village.]

No, I was going to go through your old collection. See what you had. We need something emotional. Easy to get lost in. Preferably nothing nautical, or about well-intentioned mistakes ruining everything.

Voicemail

[charlastan]

Hmph. Lucky for you, I'm a man of many interests!

[He gets over his fake-offense quickly enough though, and snaps his fingers.]

Oh! I've got just the thing. If it's in there it'll be hiding behind everything else. You can't miss it. You'll know it when you see it.

[He absolutely will, because there's only one movie that looks like it's being deliberately hidden. There are movies shelved in front of it and stacked on top of it, but when Ford moves them he'll find an enormous six tape VHS box set with these lovely faces spread across them.]

Video - pointed at the box set.

[mothmansplaining]

...

...

This? Stanley, I assumed this was pornography.

[IT WAS BEING HIDDEN. PRESUMABLY FROM THE KIDS. WHY ELSE WOULD STAN HAVE A SIX-TAPE BOX SET OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE AN OLD-TIMEY HISTORICAL DRAMA. THE INCREDIBLY DRY-LOOKING TAPE SLEEVES ARE A COVER, RIGHT? THEY HAVE TO BE.]

Video

[charlastan]

What? No! I hide my porn way better than that!

[Give him a little credit, sheesh!]

Video

[mothmansplaining]

[you can HEAR him wiggling his hand, and the camera shakes a little.]

Debatable. [LOOKING AT YOUR CONTRABAND BOX, STAN.] Anyway, if this really is what it looks like, then it's perfect. Convoluted, dry, extremely long -- they'll both be asleep by tape three, and Gems don't even sleep!

Video

[charlastan]

[EXCUSE YOU DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK HIM TO MAKE A FAKE COVER FOR "FULLY CLOTHED WOMEN MAGAZINE"?]

Look, it's the convolutedness that makes The Duchess Approves: The Duchess Approved Edition a work of art, alright? It's good! I wouldn't have it if it wasn't good! I only have good taste in everything!

[Which is surely why it was buried at the back of his tapes.]

Video

[mothmansplaining]

[This is...new. Alright. Okay. They'll watch a miniseries that's as long as the Star Trek motion pictures.]

...it'll work. Let me get some snacks out, I'll give everyone a shout when it's ready.

Video

[charlastan]

[They'll watch a good miniseries as long as the Star Trek motion pictures! ...Either that or Stan will enjoy it and no one else will.]

It's definitely worth it, I swear. But great! See you later!

[Time to come up with a ten minute defense of Why This Is Actually In Fact A Good Movie Slash MiniSeries.]