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[He's found Stanley's door, over the course of the last week -- while looking for him, while trying to catch him when he wasn't a kid. Once Ford hears the Admiral announce that the flood's over, Ford immediately takes off -- he heads for the door he recognizes from their ship, years ago now, and he takes a moment to pull himself together outside.

It's the Stanowar, which means -- it must mean -- it's a Stan from the end.

He knocks -- firmly, but urgently.]

Stanley? Stanley, are you in there?

[Stan's luck has been just as bad. He turned back into an adult once or twice during the flood, but it never seemed to be when Ford was one. They kept just barely missing each other, when their child selves weren't running off together with their many, many, many clones.

But now he's pretty sure he's himself full time again, especially since that Admiral guy said the flood's over. He doesn't even have time to think about investigating what seeing his dead brother in the flood is supposed to mean when he hears a knock at the door.

And hears Ford, calling for him.

Stan flings open the door - old again, and dressed exactly as he was when he and Ford were sailing together, his suit and fez swapped for a long jacket and beanie.]

Stanford?

[He's stunned for a second, but then his joy and relief completely overtakes him. He reaches out and hugs Ford tight.]

Ford! Ford, you're actually here! And-- holy shit, you're alive!

[Stan's not tearing up. There's space dust in his eye or something. Definitely.]

[He's actually here.

Stan is here, out of Gravity Falls -- real.

Ford has so much to tell him. There's so much Stan has missed. But all of that has to wait a moment while Ford hugs the hell out of his brother. This is the most sincere sibling hug in the history of sincere sibling hugs.]

Yes, I'm alive. Coming back wasn't easy! But, according to most definitions, I'm back.

[He squeezes Stan, then breaks the hug, gripping Stan's shoulder, searching his face with concern.]

What about you?

[Stan's here as an.....

....well, Ford doesn't actually know. On the one hand, Stan Pines is a hero, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. But also, Stan's shady by a lot of definitions. He could see the Authority pulling him in because of that. Being a warden or an inmate isn't about being good or being bad, it's about the kind of story the Authority wants to see. And Ford met a Stan in the Bargeyard who'd died by squid, and was an inmate, and Stan wouldn't be drawn in by the Admiral's huckster act.

It has to be as an inmate. Ford's brows draw up. Oh, no. Oh, no, he could lose Stan at any minute, and Stan won't be able to leave on the Stanowar III with him.]

Did the kraken get you, too?

[Stan mirrors the gesture, gripping Ford's shoulder because he's a little reluctant to pull away completely. He's so relieved.]

No! No, I got away, but you...

[Well. Ford knows what happened there. He didn't make it, and Stan was a wreck. He was a wreck after the portal incident too, but even that was different. There was no way of knowing what was on the other side of that thing. Death? Another dimension? Ford could've been anywhere.

Ford's death by kraken was a lot more certain than that. More final, supposedly.

Stan shakes his head, physically trying to shake off the trauma. Nope. He's not going to go there.]

Wait, so you wound up here? Heh...what, did you use your warden deal to bring yourself back from the grave before I could or something?

[Stan has no idea what the standards for being an inmate really are (after all, if he was made a warden, the actual inmates have gotta be even worse than him!) so of course he assumes Ford would never be one. Space crimes aside, he'd probably be an alright warden. If they can overlook Stan's hundreds and hundreds of crimes, surely Ford would be crowned a warden in a heartbeat! Probably.]

[Ford's eyebrows draw up.]

No. No, Stanley, I was an inmate.

But you -- you made it? You're alive? You're a warden?!

[Oh, no. Oh no, the Admiral got him. Ford shakes Stan by his shoulder a little by accident, gripping his jacket in a fist.]

Wait, you were planning to have your deal be to bring me back?

[A lot of emotions spin around Ford's head about that -- the Admiral's a bastard, this is one more case of the Admiral drawing someone onto this ship by being a fucking liar about who does and doesn't need a warden deal to be saved. But on the other, getting Stanley out of Gravity Falls is the best thing for him, and better Stanley is here, as a warden, than here as an inmate, or not out of Gravity Falls at all.

He's mad about the deception, on principle, but this -- this is the best way it could have happened??]

[Stan looks caught in embarrassment, but oh, right. He did just...outright admit that, didn't he? Whoops.]

Yeah, yeah, somethin' like that. Funny how no one bothered to tell me you're here and already alive.

[Stan's running through the conman logistics in his head, trying to find the place where he went wrong here. It dawns on him that the Admiral pulled a fast one on him - on him - and that when Stan asked if that deal was possible, the guy didn't have any reason to say "It's so possible that it already happened!". 'Cause if he said that...Stan wouldn't have a reason to bother with his scheme.]

Ugh, I knew this whole gig was too good to be true!

[He pulls back from Ford so he can slug the nearest wall. It doesn't do anything useful, but it almost feels good. Kind of. Except for the fact that his hand hurts now.]

Great. Fucking great. I got tricked by some two-bit boat captain! Street smarts are the only thing I'm supposed to actually be smarter than you at and then someone tells me I could use some bullshit magic deal to bring my brother back from the dead and I fall for it like a moron!

[Con men aren't supposed to get conned. In a moment of weakness, a moment of grief, someone actually managed to swindle him. He's pissed off, but mostly pissed off at himself for falling for the whole thing in the first place.]

Stanley--

[Ford's expression twists in sympathy, in worry -- he steps forward, up to stand next to Stan, putting his hand on Stan's near shoulder.]

I know. He's a liar. He'll say or do anything to get people on this boat -- offer them anything they want, even if they're already going to get it later in the timeline. You're not the first one the Admiral's gotten this way, and you won't be the last. He finds people who don't see any other way to get what they need, except with his help.

But you coming here, on your own -- don't you see? It's the best thing that could have happened! If they'd decided to make you an inmate, we wouldn't be able to leave, not until you'd jumped through whatever hoops they wanted to see you jump through before you graduated.

Wait. Wait, so that's it? We can just...go? Really?

[Ford's a warden. He's a warden. Neither of them have any reason to stick around if they're both alive, right? They could just get back to sailing like none of this ever happened.

Except, something about that feels...easy. Too easy. He frowns, thinking about it. He lived through the whole kraken thing, and if Ford graduated he could have just come home and come back to life. There has to be something else going on. Now that he's been tricked once, it's going to be another 60 years or so before he openly assumes anything would just work out for the best on this barge.]

...What's your deal? You stuck around here as a warden, so there's gotta be something in it for you.

[Ford takes a deep, uneasy breath.]

It's not because of a deal, Stanley. It's because --

[He looks at Stan, and wonders if he's about to ruin everything, somehow. How is Stan going to take this? Can he handle it? Are they going to fight? God, Ford hopes they don't fight.

But if Ford doesn't tell him, Bill will, and....Ford doesn't know if he'd put it past Bill to use that information, or the fact that he didn't tell Stan, like a weapon. Secrets don't keep on the Barge even at the best of times, when there isn't someone else on the ship who already knows the information.]

--because I've learned things about our world that you won't believe. Stanley, what I'm about to tell you -- I wouldn't say it lightly, or if I hadn't experienced proof of it myself. It's going to sound insane, but please -- just hear me out.

[Whatever it is, it's got Ford worked up a little. Stan can't quite read that look Ford's giving him, but his knee jerk instinct is to try and reassure him - to lighten things, just a little.]

Hey, in fact you forgot, the last time you said I wouldn't believe something you had an inter-dimensional portal in your basement. You're gonna have to try pretty hard to top that one, Sixer!

[He laughs, and lightly shoves Ford's arm. He'll just ignore the nagging feeling that he's jinxed any chance of this is being believable at all. It's probably fine.]

Plus whatever this is, it can't be more unbelievable than talking to someone I was pretty sure was dead forever a week ago. My standards for believably are kinda at an all time low right now.

Edited 2020-03-21 05:03 (UTC)

[Ford goes over to one of the beds along the wall and sits down.]

During my time here, I've found out some disturbing things about Gravity Falls.

Look at this.

[He pulls out Journal 3, and....a copy of Journal 3 he stole from a Barnes & Noble in the world he and Bill broke into. He hands the copy, with its glossy dust-jacket and its Disney logo, over to Stan.]

What does that look like to you, Stanley?

What the--

[Stan takes the copy and thumbs through it - not for the content that Ford wrote, but more technical things. It's got a barcode, and publishing information in the front. The author and illustrator are listed as someone else entirely, but what really catches Stan's attention is something on the back.]

Hey! I never said that!

[He peeks under the dust-jacket to see if maybe the real cover looks different and-- are those blueprints? A closer look reveals no, it's just some sort of promotional poster.]

It looks like a bunch of lawsuits. What is all this?

It's merchandise, Stan. A cheap copy of the original book I made.

[He takes it back, flips through some of the pages -- careful to avoid the Bill ones. The images of photographs, printed to look like somebody taped them there. Their cartoony portraits.]

It's not uncommon here for people to happen to have works of media out there in the multiverse that detail their lives. You saw Space Battles, right?

Uh. ...Probably?

[He shrugs. The late seventies are kind of a strange blur these days, but not in ways that matter most of the time.]

Look, I know enough about it, I know what it is - what about it? What's that got to do with your Journal?

Lucas Starrambler's here. He's actually named Luke Skywalker, but trust me, he's the same guy.

What?! Lucas Starrambler? That's nuts! Next you're gonna tell me Hal Duo and Crunchie are around too.

[Apparently he remembers Space Battles enough to be appropriately shocked that a movie character is just walking around here. Like...they are.]

Wait. Wait, so-- are you sayin' we're like that? Some kinda sci-fi franchise?

Sort of. We are, but it's worse.

Most people live normal lives in normal dimensions that continue to exist after the movie's over. But I have reason to believe that we....don't.

I mean...you did kind of die, so heh. You're prolly right on the money there. Unless there's something else I'm missing?

I don't think it's just me, Stanley.

It isn't just that there's a show out there that happens to look exactly like our lives. I think our lives were made for the show.

I've got data -- readings, that point to the people on the Barge being from a different level of reality than us. I've got memories that don't line up. Remember that time we went on a multiverse adventure, to Dimension MAB-3L?

MAB-3L?

[It takes him a sec, but he snaps his fingers when he gets there. He's just bad at the call numbers of dimensions.]

The one with all the Mabels! Yeah, I remember. Some of 'em were dinosaurs, one was literally a three - the whole thing was really dumb. What of it?

You remember when it happened, don't you? Three days before the kids left. After you'd lost your memory.

There are a lot of strange things about it. Why were you and I fighting again? The rest of the week, I was trying my best to make up for all of the things I'd put you through. It doesn't make sense that we'd drive each other nuts for one day, then go right back to home movies and bacon!

Y'know, come to think of it...

[Stan frowns, putting a hand to his chin.]

Didn't it take most of the week to fix my head? I never really thought about it too hard, 'cause my memory's a little-- [He wiggles his hand in an "eh, so-so" gesture.] --but we spent that whole week in front of the TV or with my nose in that scrapbook. As soon as I was feeling like myself, we were throwing the kids a birthday party and sending them off.

[Not that that's anyone fault. They went as fast as they could! But it just doesn't make sense that they went to that dimension in that time.]

But, I do remember it. I remember it happening. It...did happen, right? The Mabel dimension thing?

[With everything Ford's saying, suddenly he's not so sure!]

[Ford...does an eh, so-so handwiggle back.]

I think somebody planned that story after they'd finished the show. A bonus episode, or something. I bet I know when he had the idea: it must have been sometime within the last year. A year ago, I had no idea that parallel selves could touch safely in pocket dimensions: I remember trying to avoid a parallel Stanford in a pocket dimension because I was afraid it would destabilize the whole thing. But now, I've always known it would have been fine. Someone changed our past, Stan. Like George Lucas writing those prequels Dipper was talking about.

Ugh, Soos told me about those.

[Based on the eyeroll and the fact that Stan crosses his arms, it sounds like Soos spent entirely too long telling him about those.]

What kinda sick joke is this? Someone's writing our lives and going back and changing stuff? Why are they going back and adding stuff like that and not oh, I dunno, literally anything else!

[Listen, he might not remember all of it anymore, but he's had a rough life. Or at least he thinks he's had a rough life? Someone has decided that he's had a rough life and he's not happy about it.]

How do we make 'em quit it? The only people who oughta be allowed to mess with our memories are us!

....we did.

[Ford looks away, glancing off to the side.]

I met the man who did it, briefly.

He's....he's dead, Stan.

[Not quite, but Ford doesn't know that.]

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what's a videophone for? why don't old men talk to each other face to face these days? post kids

Back in the day we had to walk 15 miles through the snow with no shoes on to have a meaningful talk!

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