charlastan | DEER COUNTRY IC INBOX

hey!!!
rate my pun from 1 to 10

(it's the branch one fyi)

HA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE. A SOLID 9.5!

I'M KINDA SURPRISED AFTER A PUN THAT GOOD HE DIDN'T TELL YOU TO

LEAF HIM ALONE! HAHAHA

Edited 2021-09-04 19:27 (UTC)

cool, thanks!

[He is 90% sure it isn't actually that good and Stan is just being nice, but he'll take it.]

ha ha ha
he needs to up his pun game like i'm trying to
it's kinda weird making them after all this time

EH WE'RE ALL JUST OUTTA PRACTICE. APPARENTLY SOME MORE THAN OTHERS.

MAYBE ONE DAY HE'LL BE AS PUNNY AS HIS GRUNKLE STAN BUT FOR NOW HE'S ONLY AS PUNNY AS HIS GRUNKLE FORD.

huh
i'm guessing Ford's nowhere near as punny as you are?

HE WISHES HE WAS! I'M THE PUN KING IN THIS FAMILY!!!

ha ha i can see that
i bet Mabel must give you a run for your money sometimes though

IF I'M PAYING SHE OUGHTA GIVE ME A PUN FOR MY MONEY! HA!

BUT YEAH SHE'S PRETTY GOOD AT IT.

You have been invited for Ruby Rose's birthday party!

The party will be held at the house Ruby lives in over in the Gaze district. [ There's an address included, or just general directions, along with the time the party starts. ] Feel free to dress up or not - you know Ruby won't mind either way. You're also free to bring a present if you want to. If you want to bring one, but you're having trouble thinking of what to get her, you can ask me, I guess.

.. Or Oscar. Actually, ask Oscar.

[ Please don't make her talk to people. ]

Let's do our best to make it fun for Ruby. She's had a really crappy time around this time last year, and I know she would love to be surrounded by her friends.

( ooc: the log for the party can be found over here! )

Fern's list of really cool things that both Stan and Varian have in common:

1. neither of you get the jitters easily
2. both of you are stubborn
3. both of me like me
4. both of you built robots
5. both of you are really creative6. both of you have committed crimes
7. both of you have been to prison/jail
8. neither of you are very enthusiastic about magic or supernatural shenanigans
9. you two love your family a lot!
10. you've both also really, really messed up your family. like wow, if you guys haven't talked about that you totally should, because i'm 100% sure you can bond over that
11. but you both also totally fixed things with your family so it's all good!!!

i win!!!

Edited 2021-10-30 23:16 (UTC)

WHAT

I DEMAND A RECOUNT

IT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!

Edited 2021-10-30 23:31 (UTC)

dog if you want to recount just reread the list
it's a great list and i beat the heck outta you in this bet!

UGH! CURSE YOU AND YOUR EXTREMELY VALID POINTS!!!

CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE ARRESTED THAT TWERP THOUGH. THE CRIME PART I GET, EVERYONE DOES A LITTLE CRIME BUT WHO WOULDN'T LOOK AT HIM AND GO "AW I GUESS WE CAN LET YOU OFF THE HOOK THIS TIME"

ACTUALLY COME TO THINK OF IT IT'S THE PERFECT SCAM. MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE WENT TO JAIL, 'CAUSE HE WAS TOO HONEST ABOUT THE CRIME PART

haha! i love being right!

oh um nope
it wasn't because he was honest
it was because he got caught
like i said in the list, you two should talk about it sometime

WHAT KINDA WEIRDO THROWS AN ACTUAL CHILD IN JAIL???

[But he's not going to get any actual answers from Fern probably, because he's a good boyfriend who won't give away Varian's whole story or something like that.]

FIIIIIINE, I GUESS YOU WON UNTIL I CAN HARASS VARIAN AND PROVE ANY OF THIS WRONG. WHAT FOOD DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR PRIZE?

a huge dingwad i'm probably gonna kill if he ever shows up here, that's who

meatloaf!!or whatever works as meatloaf
fishloaf or mushroomloaf if you can't find actual meat

FAIR ENOUGH. LEMME KNOW IF YOU NEED HELP HIDING THE BODY.

[An offer that goes for almost any murder Fern feels like doing, honestly.]

NO, NO. NOPE. FISHLOAF AND MUSHROOMLOAF SOUND MORE LIKE PUNISHMENTS. I'LL FIGURE OUT MEATLOAF.

ha ha thanks!

[He will. Oh, he will.]

wow really?
ok dude you're just going to make it harder for yourself but go nuts

[Wrapped up in a bright red and white box is a plate of bought snowflake cookies and a new cane.

Attached is a note with a little rabbit doodle:]

Happy Holidays!
Love,
Usagi

Edited 2021-12-26 04:44 (UTC)

[Soooo the Pineses went through a whole thing recently, didn't they? Fern knows Dipper doesn't just exist in a vacuum, so he's concerned about how his friends and family are faring. Particularly Stan, since the two of them are pretty close, which is why he's sending him this message.]

Heyyy dude, just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. After the whole, y'know, Dipper dying mess.

[They sure did. It was a whole thing, and Stan and the rest of the Pines kept off the network for the most part. None of them had the heart to really do an announcement (or at least Stan didn't) but word gets around fast.]

Heh. Thanks, kid. I'm...hangin' in there. Ford didn't kick the bucket this time, and Mabel's around too. Off covering our whole dang house with bones and glitter, but she's here.

[In other words, he's not alone. He hasn't been left to his own devices. So he isn't just moping in isolation.]

I also might've punched a tree so hard it caught on fire? That's kinda new.

Edited 2022-01-03 07:46 (UTC)

[Word certainly did, though in this case Fern was present for much of what went down. He's... trying not to think about it too much.]

Wow, that's gotta be one of the coolest ways to deal with someone you care about getting killed. [He's impressed! Though he quickly adds:] But, um. It still sucks a lot. Sorry you had to go through all this, man.

[Stan chuckles.]

Cooler than the last time, at least. [But they're not going to actually talk about that.] But...yeah, it does. 'Specially when this world's still pretty new and all.

[Some of his old worries still cropped up this time, like that Dipper wouldn't revive because they had an actual corpse to deal with this time.]

At least there's no death flu anymore - sure Dipper's kinda wobbly still, but he's not sick or anything so that's better. Probably.

The newness is really scary. It's hard to tell if what we've seen about death is just a one-off or the actual rules.

[Yeah, he gets it, and he hates it.]

Really? Man, it's so hard to believe that death is just that easy here.

Yeah, plus with the whole turning back into squids thing and all the blood magic...it's all new territory here!

[It's the worst. Death was hard enough as a normal human!]

Heh. Yeah, well - with any luck you won't have to find out either way, kid.

[There's a shudder in his voice.] Ugh, the squid thing....

[He can do without that, thank you.]

Fingers crossed, huh? But if you need any help with - I don't know, stuff? Or making sure Dipper doesn't die again.... [He is here for you, man!!]

[Okay. Ruby's been holding off on this. But it's awkward when you're really close to a family and end up doing something awful. Even if it was for all the right reasons it didn't change the guilt welling up in her heart. That she had to hurt Dipper and that Mabel had to watch it happen. And that Ford and Stan had to deal with the aftermath of her actions.]

Hey.
I'm just checking in.
Are all of you doing alright?

[It's good she held off, to be honest. The blood effects of December would have made this an entirely different conversation. Stan's...well he's not happy about what happened, but he's a little calmer now and not so full of vengeance.]

EH
WE'RE HANGING IN THERE
DIPPER ISN'T A SQUID ANYMORE SO WE DON'T HAVE TO KEEP FEEDING HIM FISH FOOD.
ALSO HE'S ALIVE. AND SO'RE THE REST OF US.

HOW'RE YOU HOLDING UP?

[It probably was for the best. Ruby was a cold blood too and while she wouldn't blame that on what happened in that encounter, it could have enhanced what she had done.

She appreciates how despite Stan typing in all caps she can picture him actually saying that.]

That's I guess the best we can really ask for.
Did he mention how the fish food tasted? I've always been curious but never actually tried it-
Don't let that change! Please. I prefer you all alive and well.

I'm figuring it out.
I
I wish I could have done things differently but I'm glad Mabel and Oscar didn't end up in any worse shape.
If there's anything I can do for you guys, please just let me know.

[Stan types how he talks, for the most part - by yelling.]

HE DIDN'T REALLY SAY BUT HE DIDN'T WANT IT WHEN I OFFERED IT TO HIM AGAIN SO PROLLY NOT THAT GREAT. I'M GUESSING FISHY?
AND DON'T WORRY, WE DON'T PLAN ON IT
I'LL STICK THIS WHOLE DARN FAMILY IN A BUBBLE IF I HAVE TO!!!

[He's only about half-serious. Mostly because he doesn't have a giant bubble to put them in, and because they'd probably find a way to pop it and get out eventually.]

LOOK
I DON'T EXACTLY LIKE IT BUT YOU DID WHAT YOU HAD TO DO TO KEEP EVERYONE ELSE SAFE
THIS WOULD BE A LOT WORSE IF DIPPER WOKE UP AND HAD TO GET TOLD HE MURDERED HIS SISTER OR SOMETHIN
HONESTLY IF THE WHOLE THING'S CAUSE OF CORRUPTION OR WHATEVER WE'D PROBABLY BE BACK AT SQUARE ONE IF THAT HAPPENED.

Well darn. I guess that's a mystery for another day then, huh?

Good! Maybe I should start working on a bubble just incase. It's going to be sword, claw, bullet and just about everything else proof though around here!

...Yeah. I wish there had of been another way too. I didn't have a lot of time to figure things out. I want to try and find a way to avoid it next time.

I hadn't really thought of it like that. I guess for what it was it for the best- And I
Well I'm glad he can rest at least a little easier because of it.

CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU'VE GOT ONE MADE AND I'LL WRANGLE THIS WHOLE FAMILY AND PUT EM IN IT

IT'S ALSO GOTTA BE SCIENCE AND MAGIC PROOF SO FORD AND DIPPER CAN'T TRY TO BUST OUT. MABEL MIGHT BE INTO IT LIKE SOME SORTA GIANT HAMPSTER BALL.

ANYWAY YOU DID WHAT YOU COULD WITH WHAT YOU HAD. SOMETIMES YOU GET STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE AND SOMETIMES THAT HARD PLACE IS MURDER. I DON'T THINK DIPPER'S GONNA HOLD IT AGAINST YOU.

Will do. I'll even give you a family and friends discount on anything I end up making.

Science and magic proof got it. Might have to make this bubble out Pthumarian or something to make it that tough. ...Maybe we could get Mabel in it. Distract them when they start to do something to escape.

It does make me feel better to hear you say that. I just want you to know I wouldn't do anything like that if I did have another choice. I'm glad you all understand though.

DEER COUNTRY IC INBOX

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text; late october

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Christmas Delivery

audio; un: doublehedgedsword; shortly after Dipper is back from the dead

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