charlastan | DEERINGTON IC INBOX

[At some point during the 3rd week of November, Stan might feel like he's being watched. What is watching him is hard to say- whatever it vanishes away into the darkness whenever he goes looking for it. It's small- if it exists at all. After all, it could be just Deerington being an asshole. Like it is.

One day, wherever Stan is sitting, something DROPS from above on his hair. It feels like a little metal spider because that's exactly what it is. It scuttles its little legs on his skull before hopping down, releasing a pink ball as it does so. The second that ball touches something- be it Stan himself or the ground near him, it explodes in bright pink goop. Hope you're not trapped in that, Stan, as there's no escape. No matter how much he pulls, the goop is unbreakable. Hope you're nowhere where you might starve to death, Pal.

A little card pops out of the spider, floating down in front of him. ]

YOUR MOVE.

[And with that, the spider scuttles off into the night. Later, bitch. ]

[The fact that it could be anything about Deerington making Stan feel that way is enough to stubbornly keep Stan from going inside. He's enjoying this perfectly nice Autumn afternoon, out on the porch, leaning against the railing while he has a smoke, and Deerington isn't about to ruin that for him.

Nah, someone else is going to do that.

Something-- is there something on his head? He swats a couple of times, and then ultimately decides he's imagining things. But then something hits the ground, and whatever it is explodes into smoke and bright pink goop.

Stan coughs a few times, waving the unexpected smoke away, and looks down to see his boots encased in pink...what is it, plastic? He tries a couple of times but his feet don't budge. He spots that little paper out of the corner of his eye and catches it as it floats down - and as soon as he reads it he knows exactly who to blame.]

Ugh. Varian.

[He tries a few things to break the goop, but none of them really work - he even tries to put out his cigarette in it, and that sort of melts the area around it, but it's not enough of a spark for it to really catch, and not enough heat to totally loosen it.

For a second, he pulls out his lighter and considers it. He really does. He even squats down for a second and holds the little flame to it, but it becomes apparent very quickly that this will take forever.

So, he goes for plan B. His boots are taller than the goop, and he had been leaning against the railing, so with a little wiggling he c a r e f u l l y uses the railing to hoist himself up out of his boots. There's a full second where he feels completely victorious - that actually worked! - but then, predictably, he loses his balance on the way down and tumbles right over the railing and into the yard.

Whichever Pines comes home first will find Stan's boots still stuck to the porch in pink goop, with no sign of Stan at all...at least until they get in the house and see him wandering around with no shoes on.]

[Stan will get a voice mail from Dipper one day at roughly 3:45 pm, approximately after school. He might have to listen to it a few times because he is speaking very fast.]

Soooo, hey Grunkle Stan, just giving you a head up in case the school calls but some jerks started a fight with my friend with a broken leg so I might have hit the kid with one of Li’s crutches and then Li busted his nuts and we booked it. Just know that they totally started it and we definitely finished it, okay bye! [-Click!]

Edited 2020-11-28 00:20 (UTC)

[Stan does have to listen to it a few times, but once he's got the gist of it he can't stop laughing. He's so proud and so amused and honestly that kid had it coming probably. He even calls Ford away from whatever he's up to so he can hear it for himself.

Dipper is absolutely not in trouble for beating up a bully. That jerk can get wrecked!]

how much to taxidermy a medium sized dinosaur?

DEPENDS WHAT "MEDIUM-SIZED" IS FOR A DINOSAUR!

knee height kind of fat, though?

HMMMMMMM A KINDA FAT KNEE HEIGHT DINO...

[Stan has never actually had to price this before, because no one has ever actually wanted one before. So, he's just gonna throw a number out there and hope it sticks.]

$500!

250 and i'll make sure it doesn't rip your arm off

WAIT, WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE.

IS THE DINO STILL ALIVE?

uhhh kind of? i need to go and check they're very snappy you can deal with that right

(no subject)

phaseflex - 2020-12-07 18:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

charlastan - 2020-12-12 17:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

phaseflex - 2020-12-13 13:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

charlastan - 2020-12-19 17:25 (UTC) - Expand

[Left outside the house is a dark blue basket. Inside is an associate of tea, chocolates, a box of lemon drops, a bottle of wine and a copy of Charles Dickens, Christmas Carol. A blue Tardis-shaped card attached to the basket says, 'Santa' in silver marker.]

[On the 25th Stan will find a gift has been left outside his door! According to the tag it's from Fern, and inside the meticulously wrapped package is a carved wood ship.

Merry Christmas, Stan! He... barely knows Hanukkah is a holiday, sorry.]

What is your favorite meal?

FAVORITE MEAL, HUH

I DUNNO. I LIKE BACON A LOT? I COULD LITERALLY JUST EAT A WHOLE BOWL OF BACON AND CALL IT DINNER. PLUS I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO HAVE ICE CREAM FOR DINNER ON A REGULAR BASIS! BUT I GUESS IF WE'RE TALKING ACTUAL MEALS, UH. ANYTHING BREAKFASTY'S GOOD AND EASY.

ALSO TOFFEE PEANUTS ARE THE BEST CANDY! YOU DIDN'T ASK THAT, BUT I'M THROWING IT IN ANYWAY FREE OF CHARGE

Kay, thanks, Stan-san.

Edited 2021-01-16 05:44 (UTC)

NO PROBLEM KID!

[Then, a minute later:]

WAIT WHY'D YOU WANNA KNOW ANYWAY?

Learning to cook, I know nothing of American meals.

HEH, I'M PROBABLY NO HELP THERE. I CAN SCRAMBLE MEAT PRETTY GOOD THOUGH!

Actionish - I can't believe I'm popping this inbox cherry with this nonsense.

I am so happy this is how his inbox is getting broken in

Mid-November ish

no subject

text, UN: tiger

text, UN: yeswestan

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Action; no reply; December 24th

Dec 25

Text; UN: Godisdead

Text; UN: yeswestan

Text; UN: Godisdead

Text; UN: yeswestan

Text;

Text;

Delivery: This realistically would have gone to him back in December but I'm late

[Delivery]

[April 2nd] text| un: dipper [1/2]

[April 2nd] text| un: dipper [2/2]

UN: yeswestan 1/2

2/2