IC INBOX

[charlastan]

"Hi! You've reached Stan Pines' magic phone box thing or whatever. Leave me a message and maybe if I care enough about what you've got to say I'll actually get back to you. I probably don't, but hey! Test your luck! (Followed by obnoxious laughter until the BEEP)"

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Comments

[mviw]

--I'm not talking to you Stan, I'm talking to Lee. Yes! He's an owl, and he's-- [ K O N K K O N K ]-- ow! I'm talking and he thinks I'm talking to him!

Apparently I have an owl now. [ K O N K ] His name is Leonardo after Leonardo da Vinci.

[Ford is full of such bullshit, but he will never admit to naming the owl after anyone else.]

He likes the noise my head makes when his beak taps it.

[charlastan]

[Excuse Stan, he needs to sit here and laugh his ass off for a minute. Or two. Or several.]

Yeah, apparently you have an owl. That you like enough to give a nerdy name. Even though it keeps peckin' you in the head. [He sees how it is here, which is why he's still laughing.] Y'know, I'm not surprised. They say pets look like their owners and you're kinda owly there yourself, Ford.

[Video absolutely does not need to be on for him to point that out. He can picture it in his head clear as day, and it only makes it funnier.]

[mviw]

[The owl has decided to perch on Ford, and every time he shakes it off, it simply beats its wings, flies up, wheels around and perches on him again. Eventually he just lets the thing perch on his head where it seems to settle gently.

Ford grunts.] Yeah, laugh while you can. I should remind you that we are twins. Nearly identical. You're calling yourself owly, Stan.

I was doing an experiment to see what the closet could produce and I didn't think it would actually send me an owl! He won't leave me alone. I tried to set him free, but he just keeps coming back.

[charlastan]

[Oh, he fully intends to laugh as long as possible.]

Nah. You've got that studious look to you. You're the only owly one here, Sixer.

[Stan's pretty sure no one would ever think he looks like an owl, but that's because no one thinks he looks smart. He's not exactly broken up about it - it is what it is.]

Why would you even ask for some animal if you didn't wanna keep it? [Because it's Ford, that's why. But that was mostly rhetorical and Stan changes tracks.] But y'know what? Good. You've been doin' that hermit thing and you deserve really annoying company. Ford the second is doin' my work for me.

[mviw]

[Yuck it up, buddy. Karma has a great way of coming back around to bite people in the ass.]

I named him because he seems to respond to it! [And he's annoying, like you.] His name is Lee, not Ford the Second, or Ford Jr. Before Lee interrupted, I was trying to tell you something important! Oof-- [Lee has just launched off Ford's head, so at least that distraction is over.]

I told Dipper it was my fault we all died, and all we're going to do is study Wonderland from the relative safety of the mansion. Maybe explore the caves once I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

There. That's all.

[charlastan]

Ooo! Ford Jr.! That's a good one too!

[He laughs a little more, mostly because Ford walked right into that one. But then he listens, and...huh. Stan can't say he was expecting Ford to ever own up to anything, and it actually shuts him up for a second.]

Yeah, well...good. At least you can admit it. It's about time you used your head there, Ford.

[He's still annoyed about the whole thing (and only "annoyed" and not anything harsher because he's been making an effort to not think about it constantly) but...it's a step in the right direction.]

[mviw]

[The eyerolling Ford is doing is nearly audible.]

You know they're going to keep sneaking out anyway, don't you?

[charlastan]

[Ford had been doing so well, and then he had to go and act like he knows everything again. Stan rolls his eyes too and sighs]

Of course I do! I've been dealin' with them sneakin' out a lot longer than you have, y'know.

[You know, a couple months longer.]

[mviw]

[HE KNOWS THAT, HE JUST... ugh. You.]

You mean one summer?

[As if to punctuate Ford, Lee gives a HOO!!]

[charlastan]

[Stan huffs at that.]

It's still one summer longer than you, Poindexter.

[He'll just pretend the owl is agreeing with him, because obviously he's got a point here.]

[mviw]

My point is, it's inevitable they're going to sneak out. We did it all the time.

[charlastan]

Well, yeah. What, you think I don't remember?

[Of course he does, and the way he says it makes it sound like he secretly still thinks fondly of it.]

Just 'cause it's inevitable doesn't mean we're not supposed to try and stop them when they're gonna get in over their heads.

[mviw]

I know that! But you think I don't.

They snuck out while we were fighting after I told them to wait for me to see if it was safe! When I found them in the woods, I thought--

[Ahh... even Ford's pride falters here.] I thought they'd be safe with me.

[charlastan]

Yeah, well. For once in your life, you thought wrong.

[He tries to be nonchalant about it, but under the surface there's a very quiet "I told you so". He can't help himself. It's not like he's ever gotten many chances for that.]

Rehashin' it over and over ain't gonna change anything. It happened. All we can do is make damn sure it doesn't happen again. [A pause.] ...And you're doin' that, so. Good.

[mviw]

[Ah. That stings, but he walked into it. He has little to nothing else to say to Stan, but he just has to open his mouth again.]

"For once in my life"? You're going to enjoy saying "I told you so" about this?

[Under the surface there's a very unmistakable "fuck you too."]

[charlastan]

[Stan should really just let it go, but the fact that Ford won't let it go is pissing him off like nothing else. Smart guy's always gotta have the last word.]

No! Of course not! [...Maybe a little bit.] I'm just statin' fact here, Poindexter. You think I like having this conversation with you? Yeah, I'm real thrilled to have to talk about how to not get the kids killed again.

[He's crossed a line, and he knows it, but he sighs. He's tired of all of this.]

Look, just drop it. You're the one who keeps goin' back to it, you idiot.

[mviw]

And you keep pushing. [... yeah, he's pretty fond of getting the last word isn't he? That'll probably get him killed someday. Before Stan can stay anything else though:]

Fine, fine. Discussion over.

[Followed by awkward silence.]